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St.-Patrick’s Day 2014

On Monday, I invited Toby, Fiona, Amendaria and Rudy  to my place to celebrate St.- Patrick’s day. I planned out this wonderful day: we could have  some fantasy flavoured tea and some rainbow cake first, then we could go leprechaun hunting and we could end our day by going to the local Irish pub. When Toby arrived I noticed they took an extra guest with them.

Toby and Fiona were the first ones to arrive. But they were not alone, they took another guest with them. He was the cousin of Fiona and his name was Roberto The Racoon. They brought him along since his girlfriend just broke up with him and he needed some distraction.  Only five minutes later Amendaria and Rudy arrived.

After we all had a cuppa and a slice of my delicious homemade rainbow cake, we went leprechaun hunting. To make it more exciting we divided ourselves into three teams: Fiona and Roberto, Toby and I, Amendaria and Rudy We decided that the first team to catch a leprechaun won and was allowed to keep the gold (given to them by the leprechaun) to themselves.

Toby and I spotted different leprechauns and try to catch ‘em all, but couldn’t succeed because they were too fast. All of a sudden I got this wonderful idea. I remembered that I still had some pokéballs at home and thought it would be a good idea to use these to catch leprechauns. Toby thought this would work, so we went to my place to get some pokéballs and continued our hunt. After looking for five minutes we saw a fat grumpy leprechaun, sitting on the grass next to the rainbow. Toby and I decided to split up and approach the leprechaun from two different directions. That way he would have less places to run to. He saw me when I was only 12 feet away from him and tried to run away, but I threw my pokéball and caught him just in time. I couldn’t believe it worked! We actually won! Toby and I took our mobile phones and texted the other teams to meet us under the Marshmellow Tree. When we got there we released the leprechaun. When he got out he started talking: “Where am I?! Who are you?!” Toby replied: “Hello sir, please calm down, we don’t mean any harm. My name is Toby and these are my friends. We’re leprechaun hunting.” The leprechaun replied: “Leprechaun hunting? That doesn’t sound very respectful, does it?” All of a sudden I felt guilty about going hunting and catching him. I turned to the leprechaun and said: “It doesn’t sound very respectful, indeed. We’re sorry if we upset you. It’s not our intention.” The leprechaun replied: “You’re forgiven. I guess you expect me to show you where I hid my pot of gold and give you some of it’s content now?” To this I said: “That are the rules of the game. But please, introduce yourself first.” The leprechaun replied to this: “My name is James Mac Donald. I’m the oldest leprechaun around. Now, if you’ll follow me, I’ll show you where I hide my pot of gold.” The leprechaun walked us to where he hid his pot of gold and gave us some of it’s content. After this I said: “James, I feel a bit guilty about the whole thing. Please, would you like to come to the Irish pub with us to celebrate St.-Patrick’s day. I’ll buy you some drinks to make up for the whole thing.” To this James replied: “That sounds lovely. I’ll be there in an hour. Save me a seat!”

Toby, Fiona, Amendaria, Roberto, Rudy and I went to the Irish pub where we met James an hour later. We partied together, all night. I hadn’t had so much fun in a very long time and it was all thanks to James. He’s such a funny leprechaun. I think we’re going to be great friends.

The unicorn and the Pegasus

Toby and Fiona moved in together last week and to maintain our friendship we’ve agreed on having a small tea party each Sunday. You should know that at a traditional tea party in the Land by the Rainbow, there has to be a homemade rainbow cake. But as you probably suspected, you can’t make those without bits of rainbow. The only place where you can find these without damaging the rainbow, is by the roots of the rainbow. Since the sun was out this morning, I saw my chance to go rainbow picking.

Whilst filling my basket with bits of rainbow I heard voices coming my way. I thought it sounded like the creatures were having an argument… I looked up to see what was going on and saw a unicorn and a Pegasus under the tree made of Curly Wurlys.  At first I thought I’d better keep my nose out of it and continued picking bits of rainbow.  All of a sudden I heard one of the two yelling: “Stay away from my wife, bastard!” When I looked up again I saw the unicorn heat-butting the Pegasus, after which the Pegasus fell to the ground. I decided I had to do something and ran towards them. When I got there the unicorn spoke to me: “Please, help him. I didn’t mean to hurt him. I got so caught up in the moment … I’m so sorry. Please… please, help him.” I kneeled down next to the Pegasus and noticed he was bleeding heavily and unconscious. He needed professional help and called the emergency services. After hanging up the phone the Pegasus came back to his senses again and started moaning. I told him to stay calm and that an ambulance was on the way. The Pegasus looked at the unicorn and said: “Why did you do that? That wasn’t in the script, idiot!” This confused me. The script? Which script? Were they practising for a play? The unicorn replied: “I know Rudy, but I got so caught up in my role. I just… I just…” At this point Rudy yelled at him: “I just… I just… You just what, Amendaria?! You thought that horn on your head wouldn’t hurt me? Stupid moron…” Amendaria the unicorn mumbled: “I’m sorry…” To which Rudy replied: “Is that what you’re going tell the director? “I’m sorry, Steven. I didn’t mean to hurt him. I just got caught up in the role…” And what do you expect Steven will say to that? Do you think he’ll accept your apology? Forget it! You’re fired for sure, retard!” Amendaria started crying. Rudy started yelling again: “Yes, off course… start crying, like you always do when something goes wrong! When are you finally going to grow a pair?” After this hurtful remark by Rudy, I started talking: “Can you both just stop fighting and calm down?” Both of them had their eyes on me now. I turned to Rudy and said: “Yes, Amendaria obviously did something stupid, but he didn’t mean it. He’s explained himself, apologised multiple times… He clearly feels sorry about what he did. I think it’s only decent to accept his apology. That doesn’t mean you have to be friends. It just means that you stop fighting about what happened. You’ve given him your opinion, your message was clear… Time to stop going on about it.” Then I turned to Amendaria and said to him: “And you, stop crying. What you did wasn’t very smart, but crying about it won’t solve a thing. He’s still alive, he just needs some medical attention. There’s an ambulance on the way, they’ll know what to do…” They both silently looked at me. They were probably wondering who I was and why I thought I had the right to give them my opinion.

After 5 minutes of complete silence the ambulance arrived. They got Rudy into the ambulance. He had to go to the hospital to be examined properly and get some stitches. After we’d told them what had happened they told us that Rudy has the right to press charges against Amendaria and left for the hospital again.

Amendaria seemed worried. I told him everything would be alright. He replied to this: “How do you know that? What if Rudy presses charges?” He was right… What if he pressed charges? What would happen to Amendaria? Which penalty do unicorns get for head-butting someone in the Land by the Rainbow? After thinking about this, all I could say to Amendaria was: “You’re right… I don’t know. I was just trying to comfort you.” Amendaria didn’t reply to this. He just stood there, with the saddest and most hopeless look upon his face.

When I saw the sun had disappeared and noticed that it was starting to rain airdrops. This was only normal after what had happened… everyone knows that a unicorn’s state of mind influences the weather. I looked at Amendaria and said: “I have to go, it’s starting to rain and I don’t have an umbrella with me. Do you think you’ll be alright?” Amendaria shortly replied: “Sure…” I felt so sorry for him and said: “You know, I’m having a tea party this Sunday. If you want, you can come too.” His face lighted up (and so did the sky). “It starts at 4 in the afternoon. I live in the house under the tree made of strawberry bootlaces.” To this he said: “I’d love to come, thanks for inviting me.” After this we both went home.

TO BE CONTINUED